Today, experienced bliss on a whole new level. Why can’t a layman understand what it is for a photographer when he sees an ‘image’? Even better, for a filmmaker when he sees a moving image, that he can depict as reality…without any boundaries? That’s what it is like for documentary filmmakers like me. I like to catch reality in its headlights, to catch life when it is unaware. Sometimes I like to purposely provoke it and then surprise it with my camera.
It’s funny when people say they are tired of watching reality on screen. Does that mean that they are tired of living in reality? Or to face it? Even though we get tired of the news coverage that bombards our mind twenty four seven, it’s just an illusion. In reality, you will be stunned to find that there are aspects and plot points that have never been covered before.
Today is my seventh day in Kashmir. Another bomb blast. Another disaster. Another loss. It seems like I’m getting dangerously used to these sounds. The sounds of metal twisting and people bumping into each other, desperately trying to save their own lives. The sound of survival. The moment which you know is going to be your last- what do you do? What do you think? It’s all depicted naturally on your face. The fear, desperation to live and then, a big sigh.
Fortunately in today’s blast, there were no casualties. It was a minor one. It’s a regular thing here. If you are able to live through the day, then it’s considered as an achievement. It’s fruitless to make future plans in this country.
I sit in my hotel room, still dazed by the turn of events. Someone suggested I should get married. That I needed someone to care of me. I scoffed. Then changed the topic. I like to think that I’m married to my passion right now. I’m thirty seven years old, not looking for a life partner. Maybe I’d like a friend, just someone to talk to.
My other colleague suggested that I go on a vacation. “Go to a beach. Relax”, he said. The mere thought of me lying naked on a beach is too ridiculous to entertain. I possibly can not watch people sun bath and swim in the surf. I feel like I’m carrying with me all those who I have met on my journey as a filmmaker. Most of them whom are no longer present in this world.
I want to be in a position, in a place where they all are welcome. I think if I showcase their lives on screen, I’ll do justice to their extraordinary tales of disasters and survivals.
I still wish I knew what my brother was thinking when he flung himself from the balcony on our house. I don’t think I ever will.
For long I’ve been isolated by sadness. Then, I feel overwhelmed with emotions. From my hotel window, I see a group of men sitting around a small old fashioned bon fire, drinking and playing cards. So much laughter, even in the midst of loss. That’s the way it should be- no distance between the living and the dead- their stories are remembered, their spirits embraced. And I feel fortunate to be the one doing it.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Death of A Playmate
The story revolves around the life of Dorothy Stratten, a former Playmate and her sudden and untimely murder by her husband Paul Snider.
The year was 1977. Dorothy Stratten was only eighteen when she met Paul Snider. He was a pimp then and convinced her to pose for nude photos which he then submitted to Playboy’s 25th Anniversary Playmate search. She was not even of a legal age to do nude photography and needed her parent’s consent.
They both began dating and were married soon after. He was nine years elder to her.
Paul continued his attempts to cash in on her fame and success in the area, but failed. Instead he created problems for her career by intervening too much in her life. He also gave a shot at making his own independent career, but failed miserably even there. He became increasingly frustrated and began lashing out, mainly at his young and vulnerable wife Dorothy. She was at the receiving end of his verbal and possibly physical abuse. Their marriage was clearly over and it was time for Dorothy to get away from him as far as possible.
But neither took any step in legally breaking their relationship. Dorothy continued to shine in her career as she was invited to be a part of Hollywood and was given small roles in some films. Soon, she was discovered by an American director Peter Bogdonovich who instantly fell in love with her and vive versa. They started having an affair and it was obviously kept highly secretive. Paul came on the sets of her film where he wasn’t welcome at all. Dorothy finally confessed of her affair with Peter. Their marriage officially ended by the year 1980.
As Dorothy continued her relationship with Peter, Paul plotted his revenge. He purchased a shotgun and invited Dorothy to his place to “discuss financial settlement regarding the divorce”. He sexually assaulted her and then put a gun to her face and pulled the trigger, killing her on the spot. He then, shot himself immediately after.
The news soon spread to the Playboy mansion and Hugh Hefner expressed his grief over the loss of Dorothy and his dislike for Paul since a long time. Her death was yet another stigma on the Playboy mansion and Hugh Hefner.
Even as Dorothy Stratten’s soul rests in peace, her so called legend continues. No one knew what exactly happened on that fateful night, as even the court couldn’t pass a clear judgment. Her death continues to be the centre of attention at Playboy mansion and the general public and is just another example of what glamour, fame and money at such an early age can offer.
The year was 1977. Dorothy Stratten was only eighteen when she met Paul Snider. He was a pimp then and convinced her to pose for nude photos which he then submitted to Playboy’s 25th Anniversary Playmate search. She was not even of a legal age to do nude photography and needed her parent’s consent.
They both began dating and were married soon after. He was nine years elder to her.
Paul continued his attempts to cash in on her fame and success in the area, but failed. Instead he created problems for her career by intervening too much in her life. He also gave a shot at making his own independent career, but failed miserably even there. He became increasingly frustrated and began lashing out, mainly at his young and vulnerable wife Dorothy. She was at the receiving end of his verbal and possibly physical abuse. Their marriage was clearly over and it was time for Dorothy to get away from him as far as possible.
But neither took any step in legally breaking their relationship. Dorothy continued to shine in her career as she was invited to be a part of Hollywood and was given small roles in some films. Soon, she was discovered by an American director Peter Bogdonovich who instantly fell in love with her and vive versa. They started having an affair and it was obviously kept highly secretive. Paul came on the sets of her film where he wasn’t welcome at all. Dorothy finally confessed of her affair with Peter. Their marriage officially ended by the year 1980.
As Dorothy continued her relationship with Peter, Paul plotted his revenge. He purchased a shotgun and invited Dorothy to his place to “discuss financial settlement regarding the divorce”. He sexually assaulted her and then put a gun to her face and pulled the trigger, killing her on the spot. He then, shot himself immediately after.
The news soon spread to the Playboy mansion and Hugh Hefner expressed his grief over the loss of Dorothy and his dislike for Paul since a long time. Her death was yet another stigma on the Playboy mansion and Hugh Hefner.
Even as Dorothy Stratten’s soul rests in peace, her so called legend continues. No one knew what exactly happened on that fateful night, as even the court couldn’t pass a clear judgment. Her death continues to be the centre of attention at Playboy mansion and the general public and is just another example of what glamour, fame and money at such an early age can offer.
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